A Story: How Becoming A Father Changed A Recording Artist


'I only hope that he finds love in his lifetime and embraces those without a likemind.'

That is easily one of my all time favorite lyrics I have ever been lucky enough to write. As a recording artist, well an artist, period, selfishness is so natural. It isn't even something that's thought of that often. The reason for that, I believe, is because of what an artist's final product means. What it represents, and how it makes you feel.

I relied upon that selfishness quite often. It helped me find my focus and improve upon my craft. Having been able to create music for more than half of my life, and succeeding at it, all came to an interesting emotional, mental, and spiritual juncture the moment I heard the heartbeat of my unborn son. Art, life, love, ambition, and responsibility all got intertwined in a manner that was so utterly unexpected. To have spent so much of my life solely focused on how to take my personal experiences and express them in a 4 minute long song; a song with layers, complexity, planning, mixing, and mastering. Then, in one short moment, I heard life. I heard life in its most basic and simplistic form.

" [ creating music ] came to an interesting emotional, mental, and spiritual juncture the moment I heard the heartbeat of my unborn son. Art, life, love, ambition, and responsibility all got intertwined in a manner that was so utterly unexpected."

I sat there listening to his heartbeat for what felt like years. As I fought back those tears of unequivocal joy, my thoughts went to my Mother, my Father, my brothers, my sisters, and my wife. Nothing else had ever made me feel so vulnerable, and yet so empowered. In that moment, it was the beginning and the end. In that moment, I felt the reset button get hit. His heartbeat told me everything I ever needed to know, wanted to know. I heard answers to questions I never knew I wanted to ask. I heard the song my Mother used to sing to me when I was child. I heard the sermons my Father used to give on Sunday mornings. I heard every truth I had ever been told, and every lie that's ever broken my heart.

"Nothing else had ever made me feel so vulnerable, and yet so empowered... I felt the reset button get hit."

As the moment slowly came to an end, I realized that the one sound I didn't hear was my own voice. This realization, in time, became my first lesson as a Father. The recording artist who had relied upon his voice for every bit of success, has now discovered a sound that is so much more significant than his voice. My son's heartbeat is now the source of all of my ambition and inspiration, and every day I hear it or feel it, is another day I learn new ways to love, another day I learn what fatherhood truly means.

"The recording artist who had relied upon his voice for every bit of success, has now discovered a sound that is so much more significant than his voice. My son's heartbeat is now the source of all of my ambition and inspiration, and every day I hear it or feel it, is another day I learn new ways to love, another day I learn what fatherhood truly means."

My song is available to listen to and download below and at www.soundcloud.com/hbgknoxx.


Paul Tamba Kpakiwa

Paul Tamba Kpakiwa was born in Sierra Leone, a country on the western tip of Africa. He is the 6th of 7 children. Having spent the first 7 years of his life in Africa, growing in an impoverished, and soon to be war torn country, life forced him to grow up very quickly. It was when he arrived in the United States that he discovered HipHop music. This became the tool he would need to help define himself. Every lyric, every song, and every album was brought to life through the inspiration he received from his most intimate experiences.

When the man that is Paul Kpakiwa finally fell in love, the artist that is Knoxx changed dramatically. His music captured, in the smallest details, every passing moment of what life was like with the woman who would become his wife. As Paul and Tricia began to build a life together, another change occurred. With Tricia having two sons from a previous marriage, the man and the artist discovered another moment of evolution. The little boy who always looked up to the skies and kept dreaming, became a man, a husband, and a father who still uses music as the most effective way to show the love in his heart. The most recent change occurred roughly 5 months ago. The woman that took his hand and his name, gave him his own child.

Paul Tamba Kpakiwa was born in a place where life forced him to become a man very quickly. Through his passion for music and the endless joyful innocence of his 3 sons, he is now able to enjoy a childhood he was never fortunate enough to truly experience.

#FathersDay #GuestBlogger #Father #Dad #NewDad

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