Finding the ME in MothEr


Born Happy, Baby Sleep Coach, Baby Sleep Consultant, Toddler Sleep Coach, Toddler Sleep Consultant, Nashville, TN, Baby Coach, Toddler Coach, Mother, Exhaustion in Motherhood

Let me get something out of the way... becoming a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Truly. It fills my heart in the most amazing way possible.

However, if I'm being honest with myself, becoming a mom has also changed me in ways that are proving to be not-the-best version of myself. Ya know... a little too grumpy towards my husband, a little too tired because I am not eating or exercising the way I want to be, a little disconnected from my relationships (with my husband, friends, and family), and even more disconnected from myself and the things that make me smile.

Being a mom challenges me every single day... physically, mentally, and (mostly!) emotionally. Challenge is good. I know this. It helps us learn and grow and evolve, and these are all good things.

However, it is not good when the growth and the learning and the evolving only revolve around being a parent... leaving little room to grow in other relationships, especially the relationship we have with ourselves.

What about the you that is a spouse? Or a friend? Or a daughter? Or what about the you that loves to go for long runs, read, sew, volunteer, travel, cook, laugh?

Born Happy, Baby Sleep Coach, Baby Sleep Consultant, Toddler Sleep Coach, Toddler Sleep Consultant, Nashville, TN, Baby Coach, Toddler Coach, Mother, Exhaustion in Motherhood

Being a parent is the most important responsibility I will ever have. And, appropriately so, I have invested a ton of time, effort, and love into this responsibility. Not because I feel obligated, but because I want to.

However, just four years into this parenting gig, I am realizing that since becoming a mother, I have neglected so many other important parts of ME that are just as important as my status as a mom.

Finding the best version of myself is going to take time because, naturally, I learn best when I experience something. I would not have such a great appreciation for taking care of myself if I hadn't spent four years not taking care of myself and living the negative effects of this. The same will be true as I go through the process of finding myself again. As I evolve throughout this process I will learn, and as I learn I will grow.

These past four years that I have neglected parts of me are not lost time, but rather the best lesson I could have never paid for.

So how do you gain control of your life when all of your responsibilities remain the same? How do you find the time? How do you find the energy? This is a starting point. A way to kick start your journey.

Born Happy, Baby Sleep Coach, Baby Sleep Consultant, Toddler Sleep Coach, Toddler Sleep Consultant, Nashville, TN, Baby Coach, Toddler Coach, Mother, Exhaustion in Motherhood

1. You Are A Priority

The first step to finding yourself after becoming fully entrenched in motherhood is realizing that your happiness is a priority.

Of course, paying bills and keeping your child alive are also priorities. However, you will be a better mom, a better employee, a better spouse, if you are a happier version of yourself.

2. Finding Time and Energy

So often (yep, every single day) mom duties and work duties leave you with little time or energy left to spend on yourself. In fact, it can feel impossible to think there could be time in the day (or week, or month) to do anything more than what you already do.

The solution to this is simple, yet, oh so challenging. Challenging because it requires you to really evaluate how you are living right now. Challenging because it requires you to be honest with yourself about what is and what is not contributing to your happiness. Challenging because it requires you to be willing to alter your routine... and change is hard!

So what is the solution?

Step 1: Make an all-inclusive list of how you spend each day.

Start at the beginning of the day and write down every thing you do. Then go through to the week, adding anything that may be different on some days vs others.

Step 2: Label each item on your list with a smile or a sad face.

:) = Contributing to your happiness

:( = Not contribute to your happiness

For example...

- Volunteered to take on more responsibilities at work = :( ... I hate working past 5PM

- Volunteered to participate in a fundraiser at church = :) ... love spending time with church friends and raising money for good cause

- Committed to hanging out with a particular group of friends = :( ... we just don't jive

- Scrolled through instagram for 45 min = :( ... i like doing it, but it makes me feel brain dead afterwards and I wished I used that time for something else